


the electronics of your heart (see how fast they fall apart)

by chemicalpixie



Series: glory and gore go hand in hand (that's why we're making headlines) [9]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Blowing Shit Up, Explosions, F/M, Fire, Italics, SHSL Despair - Freeform, heart condition, poor self-esteem, ultimate despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7800295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemicalpixie/pseuds/chemicalpixie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“he needed the feeling that she gave him. he <i>needed</i> to feel like he belonged.”</p><p>or; nekomaru nidai's descent into despair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the electronics of your heart (see how fast they fall apart)

nekomaru nidai was born with a broken heart. he would only live to be twenty, if he was lucky. he couldn't do p.e. or anything the other kids could, and so they mocked him. he was _broken_ , until he found the one thing in the world he could do. he wasn't very smart or subtle, but he was a good team manager. that was the one thing in this world he could do. and he was going to do it until his dying day. 

//

and then nekomaru got into a high school specifically for talented kids just because of what his teams did. despite his protests that it was only his team, that he had nothing to do with it, eventually he played along. he joined a class full of skilled people who were amazing in their fields, and he was just here. he had a death sentence. he wasn't supposed to be here. he wasn't good enough. 

//

and then nekomaru finally found someone who felt he was good enough, who he didn't constantly have to prove himself to in order to feel like he belonged. and by the time he realized that this girl might be nothing but a trap, that she might not be good for him, it was too late. he needed the feeling that she gave him. he _needed_ to feel like he belonged. 

//

and junko knew exactly what he felt like, claimed that she had never belonged and that it was only her and her sister until the bitter end, that she knew what it was like to keep a secret that sat like a ticking time bomb in your heart. and nekomaru would do anything for her, to help her keep the secret or to make sure she would continue to let him feel like he belonged. because if he thought about it, really thought, he _knew_ he didn't belong anywhere else. 

//

on the day that the world ends, nekomaru is sitting, waiting, in his office. he has an office, near the field where his team plays. his team is playing right now, and it's _televised_ , for god's sake. televised, like anyone could watch the game and pretend everything was normal and the city wasn't falling to ruin around them. and then nekomaru knows what he has to do.  
his team is winning. of course they are. they are all so good. and nekomaru fiddles with the wires, and the timing, and then. and then he tapes the bombs up all around the stadium. he waits. his team is winning. it is in the last moments of the game. he pushes the button, and the stadium goes up in _flames_. they don't even have time to _scream_.  
nekomaru watches the stadium burn into ash, and he see people twist and scream as they try to escape the never ending fire (they can't, and they look like dark and melted demons as they try to stop what is now irreversible). nekomaru grins, and _laughs_. look at what he has done. he is not _worthless_. he _belongs_ with them now. 

//

all of his classmates are killers and they wreak havoc on the world as it falls. he beats people he finds wandering the streets, loving the feel of their bones cracking under his hands. he waits for the exact moment that they realize they are going to die here, that they are going to die under the hands of this man who is _large_ and _terrifying_ and is _hurting_ them. he waits for that moment. he loves it. he loves the light that goes out in their eyes when they _know_.

//

he finds akane one day. she's so small, so thin, and seeing her so weak _almost_ frightens him. he is not the one who doesn't belong anymore. it is her. she is hte weak one, the one who could die at any moment. and as afraid and scared for her nekomaru is, he is even more _delighted_ that he is no longer the weak one. 

//

they beat people up together, and he watches her face as she _kicks_ and _hits_ and it is _vicious_. she is _vicious_ , she is the kind of girl who is even more beautiful with someone else's blood smeared across her face as her grin _screams_ “i want to hurt you more”. he has to help her walk sometimes, but when she is hurting someone else, he can see that she is no longer _weak_. 

//

he is trying to find someone else to _hurt_ , someone else to make _weak_ , when they take him. he tries to hurt them and kick them and free himself but there are just so many of them. he can't do this. he doesn't belong. they have pinned his arms down, and they shove a cloth over his mouth. he doesn't belong. he is _weak_. he is _weak_. he is _weak_. he doesn't belong. he has never _belonged_. he doesn't belong. he doesn't belong. _he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't_ -


End file.
